Famous Quotes

You hear all sorts of silly things when you work with children. My mom always says I should write them down and make a book. Maybe one day I will publish these quotes and it will be printed in a little book that you find near the register of Hallmark or Barnes and Noble. So my first blog entry will be some funny kid quotes.

I want to be a grown up, because then I can eat cotton candy whenever I want to.

(In reference to a Mother's Day worksheet)
I'd like to tell my mother... you are the flower in my eye.

1st grader: What is a whore?
Me: umm...what?
1st grader: What is a whore?
Me: [speechless]
1st grader: [pointing at the cabinets behind me] whore... h-o-u-r
Me: That word is HOUR. HOUR. Like we go to lunch in an HOUR.

1st grader: My last name is changing.
Me: Oh, really.
1st grader: Yup. It will be ****** like my mom's.
Me: Why is your last name changing?
1st grader: Because the cops don't like my last name.

Teacher: Have any of you ever had to make a choice?
1st grader: Yes, I have. My mom said that when my child support check came in that I could choose between a Nintendo Wii or an ipod touch. I chose the ipod.

1st grader: My mom had surgery yesterday.
Teacher: Oh, really. I didn't know that. I hope she is feeling better. Why did she have surgery?
1st grader: To get her boobs lifted up.

*This story was told to me by a parent about his son, but funny none the less. This conversation took place the evening after the 5th grade sex ed/human anatomy video*
Parents: So, do you have any questions about what was said in the video?
5th grader: Can *it ever fall off?
Mom: It can if you're really bad.

4th grader: [Looking at a picture of George Washington Carver] Look, George Washington Carver is holding a flask!
Student Teacher: No. That is a beaker. George Washington Carver is holding a beaker for science expiraments.

Those are all that I can remember right now. I will try and post more as I remember them.