on my way

On My Way-Ingram Hill

I am going to be very honest. It's my blog so I get to say what I want, and I am going to say what I want without worrying/thinking about anyone else.

This song describes how I feel.

I have learned some important lessons over the past couple of days. I learned that when you care for and about someone else you are putting yourself out there. You can get hurt doing so. And I did. I got hurt. I have always been an emotional person so it shouldn't have come to be that big of a surprise, but it did. I was really happy. A new kind of happy I had never experienced. And in no time, I went to being really hurt. A new kind of hurt I had never experienced. I cared for a person who stopped caring about me. Someone once told me the person who cares the most will be the one to get hurt the most. I really wish I had listened to that person. Do I regret being in a relationship with that person? Umm...no. Well, at least most of the time I would say no. I got to experience someone caring about me. I got to experience a new kind of happy. I learned more about what I want in a potential boyfriend, and what I don't want which is also important. It's been a struggle these past few days. I am learning how to get over someone. I have prayed for strength and guidance and understanding and to renew my faith. My prayers have been and are being answered. I still hurt at times, but it is getting easier. One of the amazing things about all of it is when I have been weak and struggling God has placed moments and people in my life at that exact time to lift me up. One morning Becca sent me a really sweet text which read, "Good morning! I hope you have a great day!" Becca had know idea how much that text would mean to me. It meant the world to me. It melted my heart and brought happy tears to my eyes. My mom has been wonderful about being a distraction, being understanding, and simply caring about me. I have friends that have prayed for me. I was even blessed last night to have a friend randomly start texting me. He didn't know about the situation, but he listened to me whine and be upset. He was kind and encouraging to me and even made me laugh :) which I needed. He reminded me of all my good qualities that I am so quick to forget about. In an effort to move on I went on a walk yesterday at the Greenway. I walked for almost two hours! My legs felt like jelly afterwards, but I was able to distract myself and clear my head. I enjoyed my walk so much that I got up before 9:00 am on a Saturday to go on another Greenway walk. My legs still ache from the miles I have walked, but my spirit was renewed. I am going to try and go on some more Greenway walks during the week since we have more hours of sunlight, and if not I can always go on a walk around the apartment complex. I have promised myself to cry no more tears about the situation. It's in the past. He's not worth the tears. In a very immature attempt to move on and get over the situation I made a list of things I didn't like about the person. I told you it was very immature. Am I proud of the fact that I made a list of things I don't like about the person? Umm...no. However, I am sharing this information because it helped. It was very nit-picky and shallow, but it also made me giggle and smile and helped me to move on.

The only thing I am still working on/praying for is strength to return to our Thursday night small group. It's going to be tough. I skipped it last week. I wasn't ready. I miss the group and really want to go on Thursday. So please pray for me to have the strength to move past all of this and be okay with seeing him again.
Thanks!

Philippians 4:13 (New King James Version)

 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.