feelings

I have come to realize that I am terrible at sharing my feelings especially when it comes to feeling sad. I don't quite understand why besides the obvious reason. It is hard. I don't want to upset others. I don't want pity. I hate the idea of crying in front of others. This is why I rarely talk about my Dad and the details of that day. I avoid sharing those kind of feelings like the plague. I am much more likely to shut down and become mute when I am upset. I realize it probably isn't healthy. But it's easier and it's what I used to. I am much more likely to send an email, text, or facebook message about something serious and upsetting. I am trying to get better. Becca said something today that upset me. I told her it upset me (via facebook). It felt good to confess that her words hurt me. It would have felt better for her to apologize, but I know I can't control other people and what they say.