July 3, 1999

My whole world was turned upside on July 3, 1999. That's the day my dad went to heaven. I remember all of it. I remember the sounds of screaming, tears, sirens, and soothing words from kind friends. I remember feeling hurt, heart broken, confused, sad, exhausted, and numb. I remember the events of the days before and after July 3. The events of that night is not something I talk about to others. I tried to once and it was too hard to share. It brought back all of that pain and hurt. July 3 is one of the hardest days of the year for me. I used to avoid people on that day. I would rather spend it at home alone. July 3, 2011 fell on a Sunday which meant Sunday school and church, and instead of avoiding it I went. The sermon given that morning might as well have been written for me. The scripture that morning was Mark 4:35-41.

Jesus Calms the Storm


35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” 39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. 40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

In the sermon Jimmy, one of our pastors at church, talked about Jesus is the storm changer. He is always with us during the storm. Storms don't scare him. He doesn't keep storms from coming even to those he loves. He can calm the storms. He uses storms in our lives. He is often working through the storm. This all brought me a great feeling of peace on the anniversary of the biggest storm in my life. Now hopefully I can remember all of that during the next storm in my life...